Is this some kind of joke?

I really didn't want this to become a whiney-journal... Oh well.

I was just sitting here, minding my own business doing spanish homework and my mind attacks me with unprovoked thoughts. I have to fight to be a part of every freaking group i have ever been a part of. No one calls me. I always make the effort to hang out. I initiate everything. Its horrible. Its like people could care less whether i am around. I would almost rather they NOT want me around than not care.

Where on Earth am I supposed to find a group of friends? One that won't use me for their own benefits. One that actually wants me around because they like me, enjoy my company. Unless of course I am destined to be some sort of hermit.

That's pretty much where I see my life going. I'm destined to be alone.

Worrying.

In Luke 12:25-26 Jesus says, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you can not do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?"

This message is amazing but in the day we live in it is seriously flawed. I am under the impression that life today is much more stressful and busy and demanding that it has ever been in the past. One can not go through life without worry. For example, I just got a 63 on my first chemistry test. That is not good. I can not fail chemistry so I am worrying as a result of the necessity to get better grades. If I didn't worry, I probably wouldn't care and so I would continue to get bad grades.

Where is the happy medium? Obviously Jesus doesn't want us getting stressed about things that aren't important in the grand scheme of things but we can not go through life not caring or worrying about anything.

I seem to have discovered an answer..
Philippians 4:6-7 says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Unless I am completely wrong, this passage is telling us to do the following.
When stressed or worrying about something, stop, pray about it and "present your requests to God." Because of that God will guide you to do what is necessary. This is something I can apply to my life this very second.. And I will go do just that.

The Great Purpose

Sometimes I sit and wonder what my great purpose is... This ends fairly quickly because it is not a question that can be answered quickly. Sometimes it seems life would be so much easier to be a martyr. After writing that I realize now that I am completely wrong... A martyr shouldn't know he/she is going to die... otherwise thats suicide..

I guess what I am trying to say is that life is frustrating with out a clear cut purpose. I have been reading my bible a lot more lately and even though as a Christian our purpose is to follow Jesus and his teachings that still is not a clear cut path. I do not know what I am going to be when I grow up or anything.. I guess I need to pray about it more...

First post.

Hello. So, I am fairly dubious about this blogging thing. I really am doubting that many people if anyone will decide to read this but thats ok.

I have been searching for an outlet for a while and that kind of searching can get you into serious trouble. I'm happy to say that I did not get into any serious in any of my searches but here I am now, trying out this whole blogging thing.

I guess here I will just be writing about whatever takes my fancy at the time. And whats really on my mind right now is sort of detoxing myself. Not in the traditional sense however, I just feel like my life needs a lot of changes in order for me to be in the place I want to be. I just started college and so things have changed a lot lately. My work load is hectic and I really suck at time management but then again that is one of the things I am currently working on.

Anyways I realize this is a boring post but the point of it was really just to test out this whole thing and figure out whats what. Hopefully my next ones will be more interesting.

-Coco